On Gilmore Girls




I would be remiss if I didn’t start this post with ‘Oi, with the poodles already!' This expression sums up Gilmore Girls (2000) for me. The series may touch on very real and relatable themes. The show explores the disparity of class and the trials of family. Yet, I don’t return to Gilmore Girls regularly to think deeply about the unjust nature of class, or the need for found families. I think the main pull of this show is comfort for me.

The Stars Hollow suspension of disbelief is delicate. If the show strays too far into the distracting, or the problematic, I am taken out of the moment. As the Netflix reboot proved, the magic of Gilmore Girls is impossible to effectively recreate, even with the original cast and writers. 

Stars Hollow is the fictional town that exists somewhere in Connecticut with the help of a Los Angeles set. The town is brought to life by a series of eccentric characters, with zero boundaries or respect for privacy for your viewing pleasure.

I like to think that after years of being trained to listen and take an interest in other people, as so many women are, I have enough charm to maintain decent conversation on a first date. Once, I asked a date for her all-time favourite TV show. Her answer was a British game show where the contestants are famous comedians. I can’t remember the name of the show, but I don’t really care to know, either.

When she asked me what my favourite show was I told her it was a tie between David Lynch and Mike Frost’s masterpiece, Twin Peaks (1990), and of course, Gilmore Girls. ‘Gilmore Girls??’ she said with disbelief. ‘I guess it’s a little basic. But I can’t explain it. It’s just a show I happen to love.’ I responded. `A little basic? ` she said, clearly judging me.

After just two dates, I decided to leave the initiative to her and she never contacted me again, which resulted in a mutual ghosting. Just if you ever thought your dating life sucked because you’re straight,
this story is proof that is not the case. Dating sucks all round.

It’s true that everyone can like what they like, and I like to think that I have an open mind. There are always exceptions. I would turn up my nose to say, a love for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Then again,
Gilmore Girls was possibly her version of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

This may have been the moment when she decided to never contact me again. Regardless, it wouldn’t have worked out if she couldn’t accept my love for Gilmore Girls. This love for Gilmore Girls is in keeping with my obsession with animated films, feel good movies and Carly Rae Jepsen.
Gilmore Girls makes me feel good. It’s the carbs of TV shows, with loving characters and endlessly compelling storylines on every watch.

I first watched the show with my mum when it was on TV before the days of streaming. She once stayed up all night watching an entire season on DVD. When I watch the episodes again I can hear her voice in my head explaining the plot points. She said Christopher’s daughter Gee Gee turned out to be a real shite. Or, that Christopher blew up at Lorelai because she wrote a letter defending Luke in that trial to claim custody of April. 

Gilmore Girls reminds me of simpler times in my own life. Back when I lived with my mum and the only things I had to worry about were my essay deadlines. The show also got me through a dark year in 2013 where I spent most of my time watching the show while I was sick.

With each watch, some things are consistent. I’m always annoyed by Lorelai and Rory’s supposedly huge appetite for junk food, yet you never see them eat more than a couple of bites before they flee Luke’s diner. ‘Gotta study,’ Rory always says, with her untouched hamburger in hand as she runs out the door. I’m also always baffled by the wardrobe on the show, often the characters are in heavy coats and I wonder if they dab off sweat bullets between scenes as they filmed the show in the Californian
heat. Also, it’s hard to believe Alexis Bledel was ever given a chemistry read with any of her onscreen boyfriends. She never seemed to want to touch or kiss them with any enthusiasm. This was even the case with Milo Ventimiglia’s Jess, who she started dating in real life.

It could be worse. I recommend you watch Alexis Bledel and Katherine Hegel play a couple in Jenny’s Wedding (2015) if you want to see one of the stiffest on screen romances of all time.
Bledel’s questionable acting aside, there is far more to love about Gilmore Girls than hate. Its beauty is in its artifice. Real people don’t talk that fast or have that many quips at the ready. The explanation that the Girls mainline coffee doesn’t make any sense of their endless stream of banter. Realistic or not, it’s beside the point. We watch Gilmore Girls for its heightened reality, or at least I do.

It’s maddening to try to make sense of Gilmore Girls logic. Most of the storylines are based on a distinct lack of boundaries, particularly between the main mother daughter duos on the show. Namely, Emily and Lorelai and Lorelai and Rory. The latter relationship is almost idyllic.
Lorelai and Rory are portrayed more as friends than mother and daughter. But when Rory messes up Lorelai suddenly becomes the stern mother she has carefully hidden in all other interactions between them.


Most of the time Lorelai is all about classic movie nights and eating mountains of ice cream with Rory. As soon as Rory acts out, say by sleeping with her married ex-boyfriend, Lorelai is suddenly prepared to lay down the law. Lorelai and Rory have an enviable relationship on the surface but I would be surprised if someone wanted a similar relationship with their own mother.

What’s the alternative to Lorelai’s free-spirited approach to motherhood? Is it the overbearing Emily Gilmore? The main point of tension on the show is that a teenage Lorelai abandoned her parents to raise Rory on her own. Emily has spent Lorelai’s youth forcing her into frilly dresses to attend pompous charity functions. Whereas, Lorelai wants Rory to be well loved and well educated, safely away from the corruption of the rich.

One thing I always admired about Gilmore Girls is that it wasn’t afraid to be complicated. Lorelai was a teen mother but she is still successful in life. Lorelai occasionally laments the opportunities she has lost with motherhood. However, for the most part, she has found peace in Stars Hallow.

Lorelai’s love life is another story. She is successful in her work and has built a semi stable home life for her and Rory (the food issue aside), but the men in her life are the cause of constant stress. We see Lorelai with many boyfriends throughout the seasons. The more conservative characters on the show go to lengths to judge Lorelai, especially her mother.

Anytime Lorelai has a normal break down of a relationship, Emily Gilmore is quick to remind her that it is her fault. I think anyone who has a difficult relationship with a parent, especially their mother, can empathise with Lorelai. As a character, Lorelai is admirable in her determination to break away from the status quo. She has rejected the privilege given to her growing up.


Rory is more susceptible to the desire for wealth. While Lorelai actively shuns her background, Rory is tempted by her grandparents’ privileged lifestyle. Her grandparents, particularly her grandmother, pose the greatest threat to Rory and Lorelai’s harmonious relationship.

There are two major fights between Lorelai and Rory throughout the seven seasons of Gilmore Girls. The first comes after Rory’s affair with her former boyfriend Dean. Dean was married at the time and their affair serves as Rory’s loss of innocence. Following the fallout with Lorelai, Rory uses a holiday to Europe with her grandmother as an excuse to escape the consequences of her actions. This begins Lorelai and Rory’s first major fallout.

But the worst is yet to come, when a series of events leads Rory stealing a boat with her then boyfriend Logan and subsequently landing in jail. After Rory’s arrest, she decides to drop out of Yale. Of course, Lorelai doesn’t support her decision and again, Rory seeks out the support of her
grandparents in defiance of her mother. This time, she moves in with them and becomes completely integrated into their lives.

Rory’s character creates a goldmine for moving the story forward. She starts the show as an innocent and extremely studious teenager. She is given the nickname ‘Mary,’ inspired by the Virgin Mary, after starting at the prestigious school, Chilton. At the time, the name fits. Rory seems content in her own skin. She just wants to study, hang out with her friends and see her boyfriend. The young Rory is almost unbelievably perfect. She manages to get into all the Ivy League universities she applies for, which from an outsider’s perspective seems very rare.

I think this is the issue with Rory’s character. She is initially put on a pedestal only to come tumbling down. There are many things I don’t like about the 2016 reboot of the show, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. Many fans seem to agree. Rory’s character is given the worst character development of all the core cast.

Unnecessary conflicts are added to the story to give both Lorelai and Rory something to do. Lorelai decides she wants time away from her partner Luke on the Pacific North-West Trail, inspired by Cheryl Strayed from her book Wild (2012). This development never eventuates. Instead, Lorelai returns home without ever stepping foot on the Pacific North-West Trail, leaving her to neatly end her narrative arch by marrying Luke.


Rory is absolutely lost throughout the reboots four episodes, which leads to an online onslaught of her moral character. Amongst other things in the reboot, Rory is a mediocre journalist, cheating on her boyfriend and must move home with Lorelai. I think the reason why Rory’s fall from grace hit
so hard is that millennials had to watch their former role model suffer in an eerily similar work market to their own. Rory represents the messiness of moving through your twenties and into your thirties. Ultimately, this doesn’t make for a comforting watch.

The show runner Amy Sherman-Palladino wasn’t given and easy task to recreate the effectiveness of the show. To make things more awkward, she left show for its final seventh season, which had a noticeable drop in quality. The writers needed to create conflict in the lives of the Gilmore girls to keep audiences engaged. After all, the original series thrived on its tension, particularly between our core cast, the Gilmores.

Rory and Lorelai’s story arcs may have seemed necessary, but the issue is that their respective crises are lacklustre. The lives of the Gilmore girls in 2016 don’t feel compelling enough to revisit as a viewer. The sheer number of unnecessary filler scenes suggest that the writers were grappling with finding compelling stories to tell. As a result, the rewatch value on Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life is low. Once the novelty of the fan service wears off, the story lines aren’t enough to keep me coming back for more.

Perhaps, the other issue is that to appeal to modern audiences the direction of Gilmore Girls became too real. Our favourite characters have lost their jobs, gotten in a funk, divorced from their partners. These are realistic interpretations of where our characters might be a decade in the future. That doesn’t mean I want to see it in practice. Some things are best left to let lie.

Life in 2016 was tough and it was only about to get tougher. It makes me wonder if it’s not just the pop cultural references of Gilmore Girls that have aged poorly. Maybe we as a culture have moved on from this desire for escapism. Trends in TV seem to suggest that comforting TV is less popular now than it was in the early 2000s. The most popular TV shows are often the most stressful. Stranger Things (2016) sees a group of children constantly at threat of an alien attack. They are stripped of their childhood innocence as the safety of their community is their responsibility. It seems the more realistic and the darker the content, the better. Audiences want high stakes, excessive violence and on top of that, they want it to feel real.

I’m unsure if a show like Gilmore Girls would be green-lit in 2020, or rather, I don’t think it would be as successful. What I’m saying is that it’s possible that Gilmore Girls is specific to a certain time and place. That time in some ways felt safer and less volatile than our current climate. The place never existed at all.

In a way, Gilmore Girls is a fantasy. It’s a place I escape to. Stars Hollow even looks like a street corner in Disneyland. In this cruel existence I think there is no shame in desiring comfort.

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